A valuable lesson with Dr Baey Lian Peck

The Solemnizer whom we are engaging for ROM is Dr Baey Lian Peck. I believe he is one of the first few solemnisers in Singapore as his license number is relatively small (J0007). I chanced upon his contacts when I was viewing through the list on ROM website. His name was the first after I filtered the list by location. I kinda googled about Dr Baey and had a very good impression of him. There was an article about him celebrating his 50th wedding anniversary with his wife Daisy. A snippet of the article can be found in a book "Serving a new nation" written by Ooi Kee Beng.

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“A love that has lasted 54 years”, by Sarah Ng and Jean Loo, Sunday Times, 28 May 2006

Businessman and community leader Baey Lian Peck was playing a game of badminton at his classmate’s Grange Road home 54 years ago when he caught sight of his friend’s sister and fell instantly in love. The 21-year-old was so smitten with the 15-year-old student that he would drive her to school everyday to make sure other admirers had no chance of winning her heart. “It was love at first sight on my part. She’s such a beautiful and caring girl, and she had many admirers. I was naturally worried,” he told The Sunday Times.

Fifty years, four children and 13 granchildren later, they are still together.

Last night, Dr Baey and his wife, Daisy, celebrated 50 years of marriage with 600 guests, including President S R Nathan and Mrs Nathan, with a lavish dinner party at the Ritz-Carlton.

The couple founded American International Industries Group, the oilfield equipment company now run by their son, Henry, though Dr Baey still serves as chairman. He has also sat on several government boards, served 19 years as president of the Singapore’s Anti-Narcotics Association and was one of the founders of the NTUC FairPrice supermarket chain.

It’s a far cry from the days when Mrs Baey’s younger brother would chaperone the couple to Koek Road to eat porridge and ice caching. He popped the question — on a bench in a reservoir park one evening — two years into their courtship. The couple married on May 27 in 1956 and threw a wedding dinner for about 300 guests in a Chinese restaurant in Middle Road. 

Last night’s dinner was a more multinational affair, attended by the couple’s four children, a handful of government ministers and relatives, friends and business associates from Brunei, India, Malaysia, Portugal, Sri Lanka and the United States. The night began with a video slideshow to the tune of Elvis Presley’s Hawaiian Wedding Song, showing footage of their wedding in 1956. Guests, decked out in tuxedos and flashy gowns, were full of admiration.

Mr Ricky Sim, chief operating officer of Suntec Investment Group, said: “They’re one big happy family”. “It’s excellent that they’ve managed to keep it going for 50 years”.

After the guests had tucked into a sumptuous spread of barbecued suckling pig, shark’s fin soup and braised abalone, a second montage video appeared, showing the couple’s courtship, wedding, their children’s formative years and, later, their grandchildren. 

When the video showed Mrs Baey saying to her husband, “I will follow wherever you go,” there was hardly a dry eye among the guests. When asked the secret of their long marriage, both said: “Give and take”. Said Dr Baey: “We understand that we are not perfect and we give way to each other”. “It’s not sacrifice but out of the love we have for each other”. Mrs Baey was more matter-of-fact.

“We are husband and wife and should stick together whether it’s during successful or difficult times,” she said. 

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Dr Baey is an amazing man, with great achievements and always giving back to the society. He does not asked for any thing from wedding couples except that they donate to charity. We went to his house at Carribean for our Pre-Solemnization Meeting (PSM) and stayed there for about 2 hours. Besides hearing his amazing life experience and stories, he gave us some pieces of advice as a marriage couple.

One was relating to "Character". The first 10 years of a child will mold the character of a person. It is our responsibility as parents to inculcate the values and provide love during this critical period. Children learn fast, the good and the bad. As busy as he was, he would always make sure that he spend quality time with his family.

The second lesson was "无我" (self-less). The success of a happy marriage is always to think for the love one. No expectations. And give way to the other party. Even though sometimes you know that you are right and your love one may not be, just give in. The love one will feel it and be grateful, and will do likewise to you in the future. It takes a lot of effort be to consciously aware and practice it.

Such words of wisdom from a successful business and family man always make lots of sense and weight. In the very best as we could, we hope to be like Dr Baey and his family. :)

Verification of documents @Registries of Marriages

Taking a few shots @ Carribean (Keppel Bay) after meeting Dr Baey 

Shopping for wedding band and confirming banquet location

There were a couple of big ticket items which Squirry and I had to settle. The first being the wedding band. We combed the "Jewellery street" in ION orchard for some local brands, as well as checked out  branded names such as Bvlgari, Cartier and Tiffany. 

After looking many, we concluded that we wanted a design that was simple yet iconic. Our budget was somewhere between $2-5K for a pair of rings. Initially I wanted something that has a full circle of diamonds. But they were expensive and just lack the uniqueness. Many brands offer a full circle of diamonds and it is not so differentiating. Bvlgari designs were quite bulky and not very elegant on a lady's finger. Cartier rings were nice but they seem to suit the older/ mature wedding couples. 

The store experience in Tiffany just made me so inclined to getting my wedding band from there. The staff was very friendly (no attitude). Knowing that I was doing my window shopping and benchmarking the rings with others, the staff kindly wrote the item codes and the respective prices on a cute Tiffany Wish List card, which I could bring away with me. 

Squirry and I love the Atlas collection. The raised Roman numerals of its archetype provided an element of chic sophistication. If you take a closer look at the Roman numerals, there will be III, VI, IX, XII which represents 3, 6, 9, 12 of timepiece. It kinda symbolises eternal love. The literal meaning of Atlas is a collection map. It has some significance for Squirry and I, as we both come from different parts of the world. Atlas is also the name of a greek god whom held up the celestial sphere; Atlas is also associated with durus (enduring). 

Wearing the ring reminds us to endure all ups and downs together as a couple, as we pursue greater heights in life together. Tiffany is amazing to make a simple item like a wedding band so meaningful for couples. :)

Settling a venue for our banquet was not such a tedious task as I would have expected. From day one, I have already an inclination towards Fullerton, which has a well-preserved colonial architecture with neo-classical columns and high-ceiling verandas. The building was constructed in 1920s but a whopping $400million was spend for restoration. It has a fantastic view of Singapore River, which I thought will be a great place to showcase Singapore landscape to Squirry's parents. 

I particularly love the Straits Room which has pretty chandeliers and coffered ceiling. The whole feel is so luxurious and classy. And of course, the banquet will be prepared by Jade Restaurant which provides good Chinese cuisine. When I brought Squirry to see the Straitsroom, he was totally swept off his feet. Absolutely love it. Needless to say, we wanted to confirm the location straight away. Fullerton Straitsroom is rather popular. We have provided a few dates but the earliest available date is in Jan 2015. Hence, we have confirmed the date on 17 Jan 2015 (a supposedly auspicious date for marriage).

My satisfying experience at Tiffany @ Takashimaya

Save the Date "17 Jan 2015" @Fullerton

Spending a special day 2/2 together

Tailoring a Chinese-inspired collared shirt @REIZO

Enjoying my last CNY as Miss Neo

2014 Chinese New Year is special. I am grateful that Sungsoo flew to Singapore (31st Jan - 8th Feb) to spend time with me and my family. This year CNY was special in a way because it was the last chinese new year we spent time together as singles, there was only one house visit to Xiong Ah Yi's house, my friends came to my house, and had Tim Ho Wan with my godparents :)

Celebrating cosy CNY at home with family and friends

Dim sum with Godparents at Tim Ho Wan (@ Westgate)

Highly recommend the Char Siew Bun

Exploring Miam Miam (@ Westgate)

Highly recommend the squid ink rice

During this period, I made one major discovery. My hunny Sungsoo has an affinity with kids. He could make my niece Charlotte shy away, stay still, and even sleep in his arms. I ever tried making Charlotte sleep in every possible way such as rocking, patting, singing… She always just wriggled her way out and became more cranky. My sister made a bold challenge to Sungsoo, "if you can make her sleep, I will treat you to Jumbo chill crab." Funnily, Charlotte fell asleep in Sungsoo's arms soon after in about 15mins. AMAZING! 

Settling on an auspicious wedding date (DIY)

Each culture or custom has it own way of determining the auspicious dates for marriage. Some of the young couples these days may prefer to hold the solemnization or wedding on some special memorable dates (e.g. engagement date, birthday date, day of first-met), many would still play safe and engage a fengshui master to calculate an auspicious date and time for marriage, fetch the bride (FTB), etc. It is about $60-$150 to engage a fengshui master. However, the few auspicious dates may be quite popular and it is likely that one would need to pre-book the wedding venue a year in advance in order to have one's preferred choice of hotel ballroom. If the hotel of choice is booked, one may need to reconsult the fengshui master again for other dates. The reiteration process may add additional costs and inconvenience.

I have discovered a way to more or less determine an auspicious date (chinese way) with certain level of confidence. I would like to document down and share. Below is an example:

First, list down the Chinese zodiacs of the bride, groom, bride's parents, groom parents. You could also list the Chinese zodiacs if you would like to consider other key people in your familiy e.g. siblings. However, the more variety of zodiacs would limit your dates even more. 

Second, list down the dates in the period which you would like to consider, e.g. Fri, Sat, Sun dates between Apr-Jun 2014. 

Y-axis, dates from 19 Mar 2014-29 Mar 2014 are listed.

X-axis, relevant zodiacs are listed. (Column D-H are for bride groom and their parents)

Third, use some reliable sources on lunar calendar to determine if the date clashes with which zodiac and whether the date is generally good for wedding. A plausible one is Sina 星坐算命. 

冲 (clash) 虎 (tiger); 宜 (positive) 嫁娶 (wedding)

Hence, 01-01-2014 is a good date for wedding but clashes with tiger

Fourth, for dates that are good for wedding, indicate (1) in column C. If it is not good indicate (-1). For respective zodiacs, indicate (-1) if the date clashes with the zodiac.

Lastly, if there is any (-1) for date or zodiac, indicate -1. If the date is good for marriage and there is no clashes with any zodiac, the number should 1 in column L and M (as shown for 21 Mar 2014). This is a little more confusing as it is not a normal summation. If L is negative, do not bother to do for M. If L is positive, do for M. If both L and M are positive, the date should be your first priority. 

With the above method, you could have a lot more flexibility in determining the few best dates for you to decide for your actual wedding. Relatively easy, isn't it?

Once you have decided the date and you would like to find out which timings are good for fetch-the-bride. You could use the following calendar which is usually made available a few months before the actual year to determine the timing for fetch-the-bride.

As indicated in the calendar, 7am-1pm is very auspicious, 1pm-7pm is so-so. 7pm-9pm is bad.

 

Places to visit in Daejeon, a Korean city less travelled

My fiance lives a in city called Daejeon in South Korea. Most tourists know about Seoul, Jeju and Busan. Fewer would have travelled in-land. Daejeon is near the middle of South Korea, which is better known as the Silicon Valley of Korea.

Circled in red is Daejeon.

There are many corporate research institutes, centres and science parks in Daejeon, for example Daedeok Innopolis is composed of 28 state-run research centres, 79 private research institutes, with as many as 20,000 researchers. One of the famous institutions is KAIST. In addition, Daejeon Government Complex was constructed to move some government offices away from the densely populated capital Seoul. 

In this city less travelled, there are a few places which I will always go. The first being the hair salon. I am able to colour my hair, rebond and curl the ends with merely $100-140. It is really value for money. In Singapore, one will probably pay around $400-500 for similar service. The salon is called 하얀 미용실, located at Taepyeong 2 (I)-dong, Jung-Gu, Daejeon. You can also call +82 42-542-8545. However, you may need to converse in Korean. Not many people in Daejeon speaks fluent English, unlike Seoul which is more cosmopolitan. My Sungsoo is a rare Daejeon-er who can speak good English. :) 

Location of 하얀 미용실

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This is me during my first visit to this salon.

The second place which I have good memories of is the jewelry shop called 골드인 (Gold-In). It is very near Daejeong Station. This is where Sungsoo bought both the couple ring and my engagement ring.

Location of 골드인

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This is me outside 골드인.

I tried on their tiara... Suddenly, I looked very princessyyy. :)

My bling bling engagement ring from dear Sungsoo.

Other places which I love hanging out are the supermarkets (Homeplus and Costco). I used to go to Costco in California, USA. I love mega shops, as there are so many things to see. But you would need to buy in bulk. Homeplus is within a stone-throw from where Sungsoo stay. We usually buy fresh yoghurt before heading home.

Costco. Even the trolley is so huge that can fit me inside.

Homeplus. Sungsoo and his fashionable mom. :)