A valuable lesson with Dr Baey Lian Peck

The Solemnizer whom we are engaging for ROM is Dr Baey Lian Peck. I believe he is one of the first few solemnisers in Singapore as his license number is relatively small (J0007). I chanced upon his contacts when I was viewing through the list on ROM website. His name was the first after I filtered the list by location. I kinda googled about Dr Baey and had a very good impression of him. There was an article about him celebrating his 50th wedding anniversary with his wife Daisy. A snippet of the article can be found in a book "Serving a new nation" written by Ooi Kee Beng.

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“A love that has lasted 54 years”, by Sarah Ng and Jean Loo, Sunday Times, 28 May 2006

Businessman and community leader Baey Lian Peck was playing a game of badminton at his classmate’s Grange Road home 54 years ago when he caught sight of his friend’s sister and fell instantly in love. The 21-year-old was so smitten with the 15-year-old student that he would drive her to school everyday to make sure other admirers had no chance of winning her heart. “It was love at first sight on my part. She’s such a beautiful and caring girl, and she had many admirers. I was naturally worried,” he told The Sunday Times.

Fifty years, four children and 13 granchildren later, they are still together.

Last night, Dr Baey and his wife, Daisy, celebrated 50 years of marriage with 600 guests, including President S R Nathan and Mrs Nathan, with a lavish dinner party at the Ritz-Carlton.

The couple founded American International Industries Group, the oilfield equipment company now run by their son, Henry, though Dr Baey still serves as chairman. He has also sat on several government boards, served 19 years as president of the Singapore’s Anti-Narcotics Association and was one of the founders of the NTUC FairPrice supermarket chain.

It’s a far cry from the days when Mrs Baey’s younger brother would chaperone the couple to Koek Road to eat porridge and ice caching. He popped the question — on a bench in a reservoir park one evening — two years into their courtship. The couple married on May 27 in 1956 and threw a wedding dinner for about 300 guests in a Chinese restaurant in Middle Road. 

Last night’s dinner was a more multinational affair, attended by the couple’s four children, a handful of government ministers and relatives, friends and business associates from Brunei, India, Malaysia, Portugal, Sri Lanka and the United States. The night began with a video slideshow to the tune of Elvis Presley’s Hawaiian Wedding Song, showing footage of their wedding in 1956. Guests, decked out in tuxedos and flashy gowns, were full of admiration.

Mr Ricky Sim, chief operating officer of Suntec Investment Group, said: “They’re one big happy family”. “It’s excellent that they’ve managed to keep it going for 50 years”.

After the guests had tucked into a sumptuous spread of barbecued suckling pig, shark’s fin soup and braised abalone, a second montage video appeared, showing the couple’s courtship, wedding, their children’s formative years and, later, their grandchildren. 

When the video showed Mrs Baey saying to her husband, “I will follow wherever you go,” there was hardly a dry eye among the guests. When asked the secret of their long marriage, both said: “Give and take”. Said Dr Baey: “We understand that we are not perfect and we give way to each other”. “It’s not sacrifice but out of the love we have for each other”. Mrs Baey was more matter-of-fact.

“We are husband and wife and should stick together whether it’s during successful or difficult times,” she said. 

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Dr Baey is an amazing man, with great achievements and always giving back to the society. He does not asked for any thing from wedding couples except that they donate to charity. We went to his house at Carribean for our Pre-Solemnization Meeting (PSM) and stayed there for about 2 hours. Besides hearing his amazing life experience and stories, he gave us some pieces of advice as a marriage couple.

One was relating to "Character". The first 10 years of a child will mold the character of a person. It is our responsibility as parents to inculcate the values and provide love during this critical period. Children learn fast, the good and the bad. As busy as he was, he would always make sure that he spend quality time with his family.

The second lesson was "无我" (self-less). The success of a happy marriage is always to think for the love one. No expectations. And give way to the other party. Even though sometimes you know that you are right and your love one may not be, just give in. The love one will feel it and be grateful, and will do likewise to you in the future. It takes a lot of effort be to consciously aware and practice it.

Such words of wisdom from a successful business and family man always make lots of sense and weight. In the very best as we could, we hope to be like Dr Baey and his family. :)

Verification of documents @Registries of Marriages

Taking a few shots @ Carribean (Keppel Bay) after meeting Dr Baey